Monday, November 12, 2007

Osteen's Message for Adam

Channeling my best Joel Osteen impression, I applied his homiletics style and positive message to help Adam Roe realize that he needed to help the Nebraska Cornhuskers learn how to Develop Their Best Team Now.

My thanks to brother Adam over at The Wittenburg Catholic for being such a good sport.


Adam Roe said...

I don't know, Mike...I just feel that each of our teams could win every week. Even if the Cornhuskers and Buckeyes play against each other, God can work to create victory for both of our teams. I know it may not seem like a win if one side scores fewer points, but God doesn't play favorites in the game of life. We all win, and that's what He wants for you and for me. Just to illustrate this point, would you open your Bible with me to Exodus 17:11:

As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning.

See,'s clear instruction that God wants everyone to win. Now, I know some of you will look at the surrounding verses and say, Adam, the Israelites defeated the Amalekites, but I say my God is bigger than that. Moses needed the Israelites to win but God wanted everyone to win. sure, by the end there were a lot more Amaekites laying dead on the battlefield, but God doesn't keep score by body-counts, Mike. God keepes heart-counts...

OK, I'm wretching now. I've gotta stop.

Mike Baker said...

Nice! 'heart-counts' ...that is money!

You could apply to be a Small Group leader at Willowcreek, Lakewood, Saddleback or any of those other churches that have nature-sounding, panthiestic names.

You made a few rookie mistakes. You only said "victory" once and you totally left out words like "dream", "goal", "pupose", and "blessing". If you work on those things, you could be pulpit material... just like Joel Osteen's wife.

You are ready for the advanced class. It gets hard when you have to use passages from the Bible that clearly teach against the Prosperity Gospel that you are trying to shell out. Example:

Matthew 6:19-21

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

See friends... God is telling you that He wants you to dream big. Even the heavens are open to you because of God's love. Do not settle for the tiny goals of this earth. Go to heaven and pull down the heavenly treasure that has been made ready for you.

Peace, purpose, security... all of these real treasures exist in heaven and God is just waiting to share these blessing with you. There is a storehouse of infinite blessing up there for you. God has promised it.

You are to lay up for yourself things that are treasures of heavenly importance. These are the things that cannot be touched by anybody. Sure, after you have secured these heavenly treasures, God will bless you with the earthly gifts that he has in store for you. While that is true, you must never settle for just half a blessing or a temporary treasure.

The important thing to keep in mind is that you do not protect the blessings in your life. They are kept secure in heaven by a God who loves you and has a great plan for your future. He wants your treasures and your heart up safe with Him. With God, the temporary things of this earth can no longer touch you. You are freed by His love for you. this is better than ipecac!