Monday, September 8, 2008

The Unending Battle Against the Dingies

The stress level goes up when I wear white. Sometimes it is almost not worth it.

When I wear white, the smallest spot of dirt shows. Sure I have clothes that I happily soil with levels of grime and filth that would impress a five year old, but when I wear good clothes (particularly white ones), I become conscious of the slightest speck. The more I value the clothing, the more careful I have to be. It forces me to change the way that I live in order to stay clean.

Putting on the white clothing is an uncomfortable experience. The levels of grime and filth that were so easy to ignore before suddenly become unacceptable. I look down and see things that I never would have even noticed if I was not wearing white. The whiter the clothes the more noticeable the dirt.

And it is not a question of if I will ruin a white outfit with grime or stains. It is a question of how soon that will happen... and how bad it is going to be. When I get a stain, the surprise and horror is enough to make me just want to give up with wearing white all together. I certainly would be much more comfortable wallowing in my own filth in my old clothes.

My white clothes have to be washed alot. Even if I don't get it stained, my own body makes white clothes dingy. It takes alot of water, cleaning, and vigilance to preserve the purity. Dirt automatically becomes a big deal because white clothes are only white as long as they stay white. There are alot of dirty things that I have to give up. There are some things that I just can't do. There is no middle ground. There is no wearing white and wallowing in dirt because the two cannot coexist. My life becomes about going out of my way to avoid filth. It is a never ending mission that exhausts and frustrates.

...but that is a small price to pay in order to wear white.

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